The zip of a suitcase
by FMW1019
Summary: What's the sound of a marriage ending, the zip of the suitcase or the sound of a door slamming, maybe it comes before those noises, the gasp of surprise that leaves your lips when you see your husband in your bed with the nanny.
1. The Suitcase zips

Summary: Haley saw Nathan staring at Carrie when she got out of the pool, She saw her husband flirt with Carrie when she walked in the door, she saw her husband sleeping with Carrie when she got home early, and now she had to leave.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters I also don't own any of the songs that i use.

Chapter one:

What's the sound of a marriage ending, the zip of the suitcase or the sound of a door slamming, maybe it comes before those noises, the gasp of suprise that leaves your lips when you see your husband in your bed with the nanny. Either way, my marriage is over. I waited until he went to therapy before I packed my suitcases, I was all set to move in with Brooke, I even offered to pay rent for the two bedrooms Jaime and I would be using.

Poor Jaime, he had to watch as our life fell apart. I couldn't think about that right now, I had to pack and get out in under an hour. My clothes and toilettries were in my suitcases, Jaime's bags were by the door. I took my car keys and slipped the house key off the ring. I put it on the counter next to my wedding ring and the divorce papers I had already signed. It was suprising that Nathan didn't hear me that night. Maybe my one gasp of suprise was covered by Carrie's lovers sighs. That thought left me sick to my stomach.

Jaime wiggled in his car seat while I packed up the car.

"Momma, am i going to see Daddy again?" He asked as I pulled away from our house. I sighed and smiled at him through the rear vew mirror.

"Honey, no one is ever going to stop you from seeing your Daddy." He nodded slowly before opening his mouth to speak again

"Momma, how come you don't love Daddy anymore." I bent my arm to an uncomfortable angle so that i could squeeze his knee

"I will always love your Daddy Jaime, he just doesn't seem to love me anymore."

"So we're going to Brooke's so that Daddy has time to love you?"

"No baby, mommy's going to live with Brooke because Daddy won't love mommy anymore."

"I love you momma."

"I love you too baby."


	2. The door closes

Summary: Haley saw Nathan staring at Carrie when she got out of the pool, She saw her husband flirt with Carrie when she walked in the door, she saw her husband sleeping with Carrie when she got home early, and now she had to leave.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters I also don't own any of the songs that i use.

Chapter 2:

Jaime and I were unpacked by the time the knock on the door sounded. Jaime was in his new bedroom and I was in the kitchen. I shot Brooke a look as she got up to answer the door. She nodded and walked around the wall. I could hear every word but i couldn't be seen from the door.

"Nathan, what are you doing here?"

"Cut the crap Brooke, I know she's here. I just want to talk to her for a minute."

"She..."

I walked around to where Brooke was, she was already doing enough, I didn't want to put her in the middle any more.

"I don't really want to talk to you Nathan." I said as strongly as I could while Brooke walked away.

"What the hell is this Haley, I came home and I see these on the counter, I thought we were working things out, that things were going well. You didn't even leave a note, I just... came home to an empty house. What's going on?"

"I came home early Nathan."

He looked confused "And decided you want a divorce?"

"No, 3 nights ago, I was in the studio working, I was supposed to be home at 11 but I got home at 9. Jaime was in bed and... so were you."

"Haley you're not making any sense."

"You weren't alone Nathan, I saw you with Carrie."

He paled. "Haley, that wasn't what you thought it was."

The most cliched answer any man could ever come up with. "Jaime was down the hall Nathan. The door was open, you were naked. Today I had to explain to our son that I would always love you, but you stopped loving me."

"Haley..."

"I just kills me, I forgave you for Taylor, I forgave you for that stupid tape, I looked the other way when you watched her get out of the pool all those nights when she went skinny dipping, I always thought that you would just... look at me again and love me like you used to. But... that's not happening and I can't sit around and settle for something that isn't the best."

"Haley...It meant nothing." He said almost desperately.

There was the cliche again. "Is that supposed to make me feel better, that you threw away our life for a meaningless lay?"

"Hales... just..."

"No. Jaime is going to be with Skillz tomorrow while i'm at work from 9 until 6 you should stop by and see him. He misses you already."

"Hales... what can I do to..."

"Sign the papers Nathan, and go home to Carrie." I closed the door before he could say anything else. I knew I was doing the right thing but this time, the right thing just killed me.


	3. The hero is played

Summary: Haley saw Nathan staring at Carrie when she got out of the pool, She saw her husband flirt with Carrie when she walked in the door, she saw her husband sleeping with Carrie when she got home early, and now she had to leave.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters I also don't own any of the songs that i use.

Chapter 3:

Jaime bounced all the way to the car with Skillz right behind him. "Hey Skillz thank you so much for watching him."

"Hey don't you worry about it girl, Little Jam is a good kid. Plus we had us some fun today. Right little man?"

"Yeah, we went to the River Court and played some ball with Daddy. He told me to give you this." Jaime said handing over the envelope that I knew contained our divorce papers. I smiled and picked him up to put him into his car seat.

"Alright Girl, you call me if you need anything a'ight, I can watch the little man whenever you need. And if you want me to kick the hell outta Nate then I can do that too." Skillz said giving me a hug after I had shut Jaime's door.

"Thanks Skillz but that's not... let's just hold off on the ass kicking okay?"

He nodded and opened my door for me. "I'm waiting on your word Haley-girl. Peace out little man!"

I smiled and waved through my window and pulled away from the house. "So Jimmy Jam, what else did you do today?"

"Well, I drew a picture and then I played Rock Band and beat Uncle Skillz' high score! OH and then we went and played Ball with Daddy and he said to be good for Momma and that he loved me and that if Momma asked Nanny Carrie left and there was a place for us when you change your mind."

"Daddy said all that huh?"

"Yup!"

"Alright Jimmy Jam, Mommy has to run an errand really quick and I want you to stay here and be super good for Brooke ok?"

"Ok Momma!"

"Alright now go inside and tell Brooke that Mommy has to take care of something and that i'll be back in an hour ok?"

"Ok Momma!" He said jumping down from his car seat and hugging my legs.

"Ok, I love you!" I yelled to his departing figure. I grabbed the envelope from the back-seat and opened it up going directly to the page where I had signed. My signature was still on the line right above 'Haley James-Scott' but above Nathan's name there were three simple words, the words I had written on our annulment papers, "I LOVE YOU"

I threw the papers into the passenger seat and got into the car, slamming my door. I quickly sped off towards the house that I called home until yesterday. He was sitting on the porch, expecting me. I grabbed the papers and started to walk towards him.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" I screamed holding up the page of signatures.

"That's my way of saying that we're going to work this out."

"NO! No Nathan this isn't one of those things where you get what you want. You don't just get to sleep with Carrie and then tell me that we're going to work it out. And stop telling Jaime that we can come back IF I change MY mind. You're making me out to be the bad guy."

"Haley, don't you think we should at least try, for Jaime's sake?"

"Don't you think you should have thought of that before you slept with the help when he was right down the hall?"

I threw the divorce papers on the steps in front of him.

"Haley..."

"Just sign the damn papers and stop playing the hero with Jamie."


	4. The words are said

Summary: Haley saw Nathan staring at Carrie when she got out of the pool, She saw her husband flirt with Carrie when she walked in the door, she saw her husband sleeping with Carrie when she got home early, and now she had to leave.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters I also don't own any of the songs that i use.

Chapter 4:

"I'm not playing hero. There is a place for you here if you change your mind."

"You just don't get it," I pinched the bridge of my nose to fight my soon to be pounding head ache. "We aren't in high school anymore, you can't just apologize and expect me to come running back. I have a son to think about. I can't put our hearts on the line and let you keep breaking them. I'm used to it Nathan, I am but Jaime shouldn't have to be."

"Is that how you feel? That i'm going to break your hearts? Our son's heart?"

"You already have Nathan. When you first got hurt all those months ago, you broke our hearts by pushing us away, by not being there. This is just another thing, another choice you made that hurts us."

He looked at me, right into my eyes just like he used to.

"And if I say from now on things will be perfect."

"I'll say nothing would make me happier,"

He smiled widely.

"But I'll also say that I won't be with you. I'm too broken, we're too broken. We've been though more than enough."

His smile was replaced with a frown and I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

"This is what you want? For things to be done? For good?"

"This is what I want."

"This is going to make you happy? To never be with me again."

"That's not fair Nathan."

"Answer the question Haley."

"You were my first and only Nathan, this hurts me. But eventually I think that i'll be happier alone than I was with you for these past few months."

"You can't mean that."

"You asked me to answer Nathan, I did. Life's been hell for me lately and I really don't see it getting better."

"If that's how you feel then i'll sign."

"Thank you."

He smiled sadly. "It's the least I can do right? I'll have my lawyer look everything over and give you a call when everything is ready."

I nodded slowly and walked back to my car.

"HALEY!"

I turned around quickly and looked at him.

"I'm sorry that I made your life hell. But I do love you Hales, more than you know."

"You say it Nate, it doesn't make me feel it."

With that, I went home to my son.


	5. The plans are told

Summary: Haley saw Nathan staring at Carrie when she got out of the pool, She saw her husband flirt with Carrie when she walked in the door, she saw her husband sleeping with Carrie when she got home early, and now she had to leave.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters I also don't own any of the songs that i use.

Chapter 5:

Jaime was bouncing up and down while eatting his dinner when I heard a knock at the door. "Hey, you stay here and eat. Don't just push around that spinach either."

"Aww man."

"Aww man is right mister." I said standing up to go answer the door.

"So I heard a funny rumor that you were living here, care to tell me why you didn't tell your best friend that you moved out of your husband's house?"

"You've been busy Luke." I said letting him in with a sigh.

"Consider me free, what's going on Hales?"

"He slept with Carrie, I caught him, we're getting a divorce, Jaime and I are going to be living here from now on."

I saw the anger in his eyes. "He cheated..."

"With Carrie."

"I'll kill him."

"You won't."

"I will, what the hell is he thinking, have you talked to him? Do I need to something rash?"

"I'd really prefer it if you didn't. He's signing the divorce papers, Jaime and I are ok, everything is going to be fine."

"Ok, now say it like you mean it."

" I do mean it. I'm always going to love Nathan. He was my first love, he gave me Jaime but things change. I still have people who love me and support me, everything will be ok."

"You're too good Hales, you know that right?" He said pulling me into a hug and kissing the top of my head.

"Yeah, i've been told."

"You should have come to me first."

"Luke, you're with Lindsay I didn't want to intrude. Brooke had two extra rooms, this is a good deal we have going."

"And Nathan?"

"Can have everything but my car and Jaime."

"How's that going to work out, Jaime I mean?"

"Hopefully Nathan will watch him during the week and i'll have him at night and on the weekends, that's the only time i get to see him anyway."

"If there's anything you need Hales..."

"I know, I know, you're here and so is everyone else."

"As long as you know that."

"Jaime and I were having dinner, wanna join us, I made plenty."

"Um I kind of lied about being all free, I'm meeting Lindsay."

"Alright go on. Tell her I said hi alright?"

"Sure thing Hales." He said walking out the door.

"And Lucas?"

"Yeah?" He asked turning back towards me.

"Don't be too hard on him, you guys have come a long way. I'd hate for that to be ruined. You're brothers and he made a mistake."

"If that's what you want."

"Thank you Lucas."


	6. The tears are shed

Summary: Haley saw Nathan staring at Carrie when she got out of the pool, She saw her husband flirt with Carrie when she walked in the door, she saw her husband sleeping with Carrie when she got home early, and now she had to leave.

Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or any of it's characters I also don't own any of the songs that i use.

Chapter 6:

My cellphone was ringing on the table when I put Jaime to bed, I rushed to answer it without looking at the caller id. 

"Hello?"

"It's me."

I sighed "What is it?"

"Lucas stopped by today. I just... wanted to say thank you. You could have made him hate me and you didn't."

"He's your brother Nathan, I don't want you to lose three people in your life."

"Always looking out for me, even when we aren't speaking."

"We're speaking right now Nathan."

"Don't take this the wrong way Hales, because really, you've been great but this... this isn't enough for me. It's not enough that I come home to an empty house and you're living with Brooke. I know that I messed up, I'm not denying that. I just always expected that... the roots would be there."

I sighed again.

"Nathan..."

"No, you don't have to say it, I understand."

"You don't get it though. You told me once that the roots are still there, that it just takes time but I don't have anymore time to give Nathan. You can't just do something like this and call and make grand romantic gestures. It's not fair."

"I know."

"No, you don't. Because there was never a point in our life when I put you aside. I can still give you my list, you're still the only one on it. There was never another person that I wanted on that list. I can't be the girl who forgives you... I can't do this."

There was silence for a minute before he spoke again.

"Can I ask you something Haley?"

"I suppose."

"Do you regret marrying me?"

"Never. You gave me Jaime, I could never regret that."

"Thank you."

"Can I ask you a question Nathan?"

"Anything."

"Why did you do it?"

"At first I thought she was you, crawling into bed with me after you'd been working all day. Then I realized that she wasn't you and I pushed her away, I did. But then I thought, Haley and I haven't been together in a while, I thought you didn't want me anymore and for that split second, I just wanted to be wanted again, no matter who I was with."

I was silent, again he broke it.

"Haley?"

"I have to go Nathan."

"Hales..."

"No, I get it, I do. I know what it's like to want to be wanted and I get that we hadn't been... us in a while. But I can't understand why you didn't just talk to me. I'll never understand why it was her, in our bed. Where you could get caught, you knew I would find you. Did you want to hurt me or..."

"Never Haley, I never wanted to hurt you on purpose."

"But you always do. You always hurt me Nathan."

"And I'll never forgive myself for that."

I watched the headlights from a passing car go through the blinds.

"Goodnight Haley, I'm sorry."

"Goodnight Nathan, I know."

As I hung up the phone and set it out on the table I cried for the first time since all this had happened. This was the first real conversation that Nathan and I had that hadn't ended in yelling. Sobs racked my body and for a minute all could think about was how much I was losing and how there was nothing that I could do about it.

Nathan and I were getting a divorce and suddenly I realized that the dream world I had been living in since junior year was crashing down.

My son and I would never live with his Dad again, Nathan would date eventually. I would have to watch the love of my life move on from me. But he would have to watch me move on too. 

We were never going to stop hurting each other.


End file.
